Remembering
Move Forward – 2 Years of Grief
Two years in, grief is still part of the family. But for the first time, I am beginning to understand that making room for it does not mean surrendering to it. Maybe moving forward is not leaving him behind.
The Gauntlet of Remembrance
Tomorrow begins a gauntlet of remembrance - two years since I last saw my son alive, last spoke to him, last told him I loved him. Time does not heal this wound. It only teaches you how to carry what never really leaves.
To Boldly Go
For most of my life, Star Trek was an escape. This time, it did the opposite. It brought me face to face with the grief I still carry.
The Bow Tie and The Stone
My son got married, and for a few sacred days joy was able to overshadow the obvious. But even in celebration, grief stood beside us - honored, acknowledged, and quietly carried by all of us.
Birthdays, Weddings, Funerals
My son is getting married this weekend, and I should be full of joy. Instead, like so many milestones now, the celebration is shadowed by the one who should still be here. Even in black and white, we could still see the blue.
Grief Takes Aim
Grief never leaves. It just waits. Sixteen months after losing my son, another loss reopened what I thought had settled. Grief took aim - and it didn’t miss.
Year 2
Year two isn’t easier. It’s quieter, lonelier, and heavier in ways I couldn’t have imagined. The fellowship fades, and what remains is me, the grief, and the quiet weight of love that refuses to let go.
No Safe Space
Grief doesn’t leave safe spaces. Every corner you turn, thinking relief might be waiting, there’s another mountain to climb. I’ve learned that there is no shelter through trauma - only moments to stop and breathe, before the current pulls on you again.
One Year
I didn’t want to write on the one-year mark itself, but to live through it first - to see what the other side looked like before looking back. Grief is a sacred journey, one that has changed everything in my world. It’s begun to turn from an open wound into a sacred scar - one that will never fully heal, but will always remind me of the love that remains.
In The Way Of Today
One year ago, an event set the final spiral in motion. As the date returns, every conversation and every “what if” replays in our minds. Grief has a way of pulling yesterday into today - and yet we still have to learn how to live tomorrow.
