Already There

“He let my son die.”

This truth from my last post, Tears of a Father, will stand out to many. It wasn’t meant to be the focus of that post, but it’s the idea that many will fixate on and interpret differently.

Statements like this resonate deeply. They evoke emotions tied to the entirety of human experience – especially the painful reality that God allows suffering.
But why?

I’m not talking about the larger world sized view of that “but why” question, I’m talking about it in personal, singular context of those who go through deep personal grief and suffering.
“Why?” is always the question asked…
Rarely answered on this side of eternity.

The purpose of that post was to express that even though we don’t understand why God allows such suffering, the truth remains: He is present with us, whether we recognize it or not.

I struggled with this concept of the “why” after losing my son. I have begged God for answers, thinking that it would help me in my grief. It was often the focal point in my deep conversations – and arguments – with God.

There’s yelling involved in many of those conversations, a lot of it.
And instead of rebuttal, God listens, and remains quiet – silent in love.

He is silent, not because He can’t answer, but because He needs me to grow through this. He loves me enough to let me yell – at God.
Yelling, at GOD… what a concept.

But He lets me. Silently. Lovingly. Patiently.
Because He understands.
He understands personally.
He let His Son die… For me.
For you.
For my son.

. . .

Romans 8:28 (NLT) says: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

This verse is often misused in the context of grief. Like many triggers I’ve highlighted before, people use it to justify pain – not fully realizing the impact of their words in that moment. Their intent is to comfort, but it often results in harm – not because of the scripture itself, but due to a misunderstanding of its depth and God’s heart behind it.

Paul emphasizes clearly that God actively uses our life experiences – including our pain – to bring about good, specifically “for those who love God” and are “called according to his purpose.”

The Amplified Bible adds valuable context:

Romans 8:28 (AMP): “And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.”

God actively works for our good – not because He took my son for His purpose, that would be cruel, at least by the world’s understanding.

He is working for my good, because He deeply loves me and wants to sustain me through this profound loss. Because He understands.

. . .

Faith is hard.
It’s challenging even when life is good – when our troubles amount to small “first-world problems.”

But when we face something so devastating that it causes us to doubt our ability to survive, faith becomes either our greatest comfort or our deepest pain – either affirming or destructive.

This is precisely when Romans 8:28 must be fully understood and its truths embraced:

• God loves us; we can know this with confidence.
• God desires what’s best for us.
• God has a purposeful plan for our lives.
• We are called to love God.
• We must remain close to Him.
• We need unwavering faith.

Holding onto these truths allows us to trust that He will redeem our pain – someday, somehow. The last three are the truly important ones, as they help us experience God’s love and His ability to redeem our pain.

I look forward to that day – even though it might not be on this side of eternity. It might not be until the day when I meet Him face to face and he shows me the plan, fully unveiled, fully complete.

Casting Crowns beautifully captures this longing in their song “Already There” – the hope of one day standing before God and finally seeing how all the broken pieces of our lives fit together in His perfect plan, knowing that He was already there in every moment, even when we couldn’t see Him.

I still will ask God why… in hopes that He decides to answer me before then, but not out of lack of faith. Faith sustains. Faith will get me through.

Father of the Stone